What Can You Do When You’re About to Lose It?

Listen, I get it. Everyone gets frustrated. We lose our patience. Someone keeps sending passive aggressive emails. One thing goes wrong and the next thing you know, we’re in a mood. We then blow up on our kids and they can’t even comprehend why. It’s an everyday struggle to stay motivated when you feel like you’re being pulled in every direction. We’ve all been there before.

I’m here to tell you that there are other options. Feeling negativity and hate from others can affect your mood over time. That is why it is so important to protect yourself and your energy. By re-examining your environment and going in prepared, you may be able to help yourself or another person out of their funk and help your relationship as a result. So, the moment before we snap, consider a few tips to stop you from affecting your mood.

The next time you’re about to lose your cool around your kids, friends, your coworkers, or even customers, try this instead:

1. Breathe deeply. Sometimes just a couple of deep breaths can defuse an entire situation. Before you react, let go of that air in your lungs and breathe in and our for a moment or two while you compose yourself.

2. Pray for wisdom. Go on, set out your intentions for at least some kind of understanding of what is actually going on. Guidance is important in these situations. Sometimes what seems to be the cause of the bad mood isn’t actually what’s really going on. Try and take a step back from the situation and attempt to determine what could be the problem.

3. Be the benevolent boss. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, so this should be an easy reminder for you to be kind. Nobody wants to hear bad things spewing from your mouth. Practice using kindness from flattery to humor, but that depends entirely on the person’s personality. Try to validate how they’re feeling and try not to take it personally.

4. Examine your expectations. What do you aim to achieve out of this? If your desired result is peace, reassess yourself and how the situation is being handled. If you must get to the bottom of the problem, you can do it in a gentle way.

5. Stick to the boundaries. Know your limits, and set your boundaries accordingly. As long as you stick to them and stay consistent, there is no confusion as to where you stand on the matter. Being a good friend, parent, or employee doesn’t mean you always have to take the brunt of their bad moods. Protect yourself by deciding not to put up with it anymore, and sometimes you also just need to get some space from a situation.

6. State the consequences. If there is no justification as to why, the behavior may continue without a lesson being learned. Set consequences and state them so that they are understandable.

7. Say, “I need,” not, “You are.” When you put the emphasis on yourself, the other person might feel less threatened. Staying positive or saying something nice to the person who is in a bad mood may lift them out of their funk. It can also help bring you closer together during this unhappy time.

8. Think long-term. Understand this isn’t forever. Fortunately, bad moods come and go. Keep this in mind when you are in one or you’re dealing with someone who is in one. Knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel may help you get through the situation.

9. Ask forgiveness. Remove yourself from the situation if the person’s behavior is getting out of line or you can’t handle it anymore. You can tell the person, “I see that you are really upset about something, and I’m sorry for that. However, I need to walk away for a minute.” Keep in mind that you can choose your level of involvement and sometimes it is best to just ignore the person.

10. Say, “I love you too much to let you act that way.” Everyone needs a little reassurance every once in a while. You likely know the person well enough to understand how to handle them when they get in their mood. You may know that they want you to sympathize with them instead of giving advice. It is in your best interest to go into the situation prepared and doing what has worked in the past, but if you are unsure this will help, prepare yourself for how the situation could get worse.

You can do it fam! I believe in you. Handle those tough moments with wisdom and grace, and I guarantee you’ll come out on top. Good luck out there!

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