Happy Ho-daze… Wow. Pause for a moment. It’s December. We made it!
Welcome back loves. How we feeling? Good, bad, ugly? You tell me. Sounds funny to say this, but do you guys give yourselves pep talks? Confidence boosts? Words of encouragement? If you don’t, maybe try it. It can’t be that terrible, can it?
I doubt you’ll get this. Doubt. We all suffer from it. Sometimes I question myself or think about my struggles, and then I laugh because the only troubles I have are the ones that I make up in my mind. Really, think about that for a second. We are truly blessed to be alive. Things could always be worse, and I’m sure there is someone out there who has it far worse than you. But, what do I know? I’m a female living in the United States with mixed genes: Black, White, Asian, Jewish and Native American in my blood. Not sure there is much lower on the equality scale than that, but I still rise. Forgot to mention that I’m a dancer, whom generally have a high pain tolerance as well. So many reasons that I am the way that I am today, but there is one thing I know for sure. I am so in love with the person that I am, flaws and all. We’re doing much better than we think we are, yet for some reason we still question ourselves and our worth everyday.
Self-doubt is my enemy and my best friend. You want to know why? It is because the feelings we get from the drama of our own lives is what makes us human. We crave it. Like watching our favorite tragedy coming to an end, we just can’t get enough. “I’ll never let go Jack.”
So, I’m in the airport again. Carousel 2 at John Wayne Airport and picking up my home girl coming in from New York. I’m sitting at baggage claim waiting for her to get off the plane when this older woman sitting next to me just had to ask if that was my real hair? My reply? “I bought it, so yes, it’s really mine.” She got a kick out of that one. Then she has the nerve to ask if everyone else who has hair like mine also has extensions. M’am, you do know everyone is different right? Did I make the right choice with my hair? Am I doing myself a disservice? That’s another topic for discussion.
Everyone is different. I repeat, everyone is different! America is supposedly the melting pot of the world, and we should set an example for how privileged we are. We have the power to change things for good, and the authority to hold ourselves accountable for our mistakes. I’m not saying my faith in humanity is restored yet, but I definitely have hope.
There was a moment the other night at this place called The Ranch. It was college night at a country line dancing bar, a place that was completely out of character for me. Regardless, I tried it. I must say, even though I don’t have a taste for country music, I really enjoyed myself. It was a diverse crowd of old, young, black, white, asian, hispanic, tall, short, thin and round, beautiful people out on the dance floor. Music is what connected us. There was even a nice bearded gentleman with a confederate flag on his shirt, and what did I care? He wasn’t hurting me, the vibes were chill, the people were friendly, and the cowboy boots were stompin. But of course, the most American thing I would do is look around for any safe places nearby for hiding or quick exits in the event that any sick f**k wants to come shoot up the entire place. It would be just like every other story on the news. Another tragedy, more thoughts and prayers. Honestly, it could happen to anyone.
I feel like if more people loved themselves enough they would have an easier time accepting other people and their differences. That’s just my hope, at least.
Well, with the new year upon us, let’s reflect on this year and how much we’ve grown mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Last year my mental state was, “Donut kill my vibe.” This year, I’m really learning how to sit still and appreciate each moment while investing in myself, having a passion for growth and self-love with less donuts. It’s nice. You should try it.
Last year, my tip for genuine happiness was a recipe and, “The secret ingredient is always love.” 💙 Ain’t nothin’ changed here friends. Love. Do it!
Last year, I was more concerned with spreading love to anyone and everyone who could lend me a moment of their time so that I could gain the spiritual knowledge that I lacked. This time next year I believe my spiritual gangster self will know how to get b🐶**hes and f**k s**t up! I know one day I will learn how to stop chasing people who do not put me first. It’s in the stars. Make sure to call a loyal friend.
Lastly, never forget, love yourself!
#staywild #followwildthing #greeneyedblackgirl #wildones🐾
Today I am grateful for:
• More faith in myself and in the process to reflect on what I’ve learned
• Zumba Fitness
What do you deny?
For me, struggles with denial come from the fact that I am simply too nice. I tell myself over and over that I would rather be nice to someone than have any negativity involved, but I need to remind myself to protect my energy. I can still be nice and stick up for myself in a positive way. No one ever got everything they wanted from being a pushover.
What would make today great?
If I could visit a local farmers market for organic produce.
Release my denial and lies I tell myself. Accept who I am, remember the only person who chooses my attitude is me, and move on.
What amazing things happened today?
1. I got the chance to connect with someone who works in the same business complex as me.
2. I was able to send a baby shower gift to my friend living in New Mexico who is finally having a baby with her husband.
3. I’m learning how to be more comfortable depending on myself and managing my time.
How could I have made today even better?
If I could, I would have liked to spend more time finding and embracing local organic products to review for my YouTube series.
I speak my truth.
My voice matters.
I express myself.
I speak with kindness.
I speak with love.
My voice is strong.
My voice is clear.
My voice is steady.
I have an opinion.
I have the words I need.
I stick up for myself.
BONUS: What do I plan on accomplishing tomorrow?
Taking in a moment of gratitude and appreciation for all the lessons I’ve learned in my life and guidance from my ancestors to get me where I am today.
Follow me for more updates on my journey towards self love. Be sure to comment below if there are any local products or services you think I should review before the year is over. Catch ya later!
~Your Friendly Neighborhood Home Girl 💚